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Attitudes that Prevent Ourselves from Public Expressing

Psychological attitudes are a persistent unconscious program of behavior that determines a person's reactions to what is happening. They are manifested mainly against the background of parent-child communication. This identical scenario not only haunts a person in adulthood but is also passed on to his subsequent generations. 

Attitudes can be tuned both to a positive outcome, stimulating development, or carry toxicity, causing frustration and self-rejection. A person may make strict demands on himself and others, but not be able to argue his position on life, work, self-realization, and relationships with the opposite gender. One of the main reasons for self-doubt during public speaking is negative attitudes. Not every qualified specialist can declare himself publicly.

The formation of attitudes begins in early childhood. Parents turn the child into an object of manipulation, building a framework of behavior in the form of immutable rules and prohibitions. The child’s opinion is rarely taken into account. He doesn’t realize the real purpose of manipulations and perceives them very sensitively, forming behavioral stereotypes. For example, if a child is forbidden to paint on the walls without explaining the true reasons, the parents form in the child the confidence of their lack of talent in this way.

Later on, an adult does not paint by himself, believing he has no talent and forbids others to develop creatively. Similar fears can be caught in public speaking. Non-compliance with the formed expectations is perceived extremely negatively. If the person himself does not follow certain rules, he begins to suffer from low self-esteem and chronic stress. A person can not realize himself, defend his own opinion, or reach a compromise on controversial issues. Another reason for negative attitudes towards public speaking is self-dislike, comparison with people, who have achieved success.

Afraid to Show Yourself: the Most Common Attitudes

For a self-confident person, there are no obstacles on the way to the realization of his or her dreams. Anyone, who is influenced by attitudes, constantly deals with internal contradictions, unreasonable worries, and the fear of not becoming successful. Activity is limited not by circumstances or other people, but by the inner state of the person him- herself. Here are some striking examples of how fears get in the way of successful public speaking:

  1. If I declare myself, I will lose the respect of my family and friends. The attitude is manifested in the absence of the ability to prove personal competence, the desire to constantly please others. A human considers native people being indisputably right, killing opportunities for self-realization and gaining authority.
  2. If I get rich, I will lose friends. This attitude lies in the fear of the close people’s reaction to wealth - the emergence of envy, insincerity, greed. A person is afraid to lose loyal friends, to doubt the honesty of their feelings, therefore, he limits his possibilities.

The main reason for all of the above attitudes is the lack of love for yourself, unwillingness to focus on personal positive qualities, and allowing yourself to be successful. Such attitudes are destructive in our lives, you can verify this by answering a few questions:

  • Does this belief help me be happy?
  • Does this belief help me be effective?
  • Is this belief helping me to achieve my goal?

The correct answers are, of course, negative and not subject to reasoning. Modern approaches make it possible to effectively eradicate personal attitudes and get rid of fears about public speaking. Neuroprogramming - as a method of working with the subconscious under the guidance of an experienced expert, will help to liquidate unconscious fears and learn how to present yourself in any situation.

Neuroprogramming and Its Principles

The main task of the method is to identify and reprogram attitudes. The environment reflects the inner desires that a person can control and correct. The training allows changing the attitude towards public speaking and self-presentation. Examples of correcting subconscious attitudes:

  1. I am not fit for public speaking. How to reprogram: Now I don’t talk to the audience successfully, but I am working on myself and soon I will reach my goal.
  2. Silence is gold. Adjustment of the setting: word is silver.
  3. I can’t be successful without money and connections. How to rewrite: With money, I could get what I want faster and easier. But I have a high potential, and I will find my way to success.

Neuroprogramming involves constant training and conscious activity under new positive attitudes. The practice should continue until you bring your actions to automatism, and your thoughts and deeds will stay following the corrected reality. Remember: always stick to those thoughts that carry creative power and lead you to your goal. 

More about training: https://voice-and-leadership.kardakova.eu/en.php

Author

Ekaterina Kardakova

Hello everyone! My name is Ekaterina Kardakova. I am an opera singer, vocal and presentation coach. Learn more about me and my work.

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