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Self-Esteem. 6 facts you haven't thought about

One of the most important roles in the play of life is self-esteem. You could say that it largely determines whether your life will be a tragedy, a comedy, a farce or something else.

So what is self-esteem and why is it so important?

Quite simply, it's how you think of yourself. How important you are among other people.

What do we know about self-esteem?

1. It can be different for different areas of life. In other words, you may feel differently about your value in your work, in your personal life, in your friendships. This is normal. Often there is also compensation for self-esteem in one area, at the expense of others.

2. Most often the "blow" to self-esteem comes in childhood. A child is open to the world, susceptible to everything, both bad and good. Actions, words, looks and gestures have a strong influence on the formation of self-esteem. Parents and teachers are at the top of the hit list of self-esteem killers. Relatives and friends continue this unspoken ranking.

3. An important quality of healthy self-esteem is consistency. What does this mean? 

Self-esteem does not depend on the seasons. It is immune to fashion trends. Even the amount of money can't change it dramatically. It depends, of course, on the opinion of others, but the more you rely on yourself, the less you depend on it.

4. The best option when your self-esteem is a little bit too high. I emphasize, just a little! This allows self-esteem to withstand the barrage of criticism from "well-wishers". Maybe, you may say, then it would be great if self-esteem were too high? No. It is important that a person knows how to really assess themselves. "God Complex" and "Narcissism" have nothing to do with a healthy perception of life.

A person with low self-esteem views everything through the prism of the opinions of those around him. He becomes dependent on the judgment of others. He is constantly on emotional swings: praise - euphoria, criticism - tragedy.

5. In most cases, low self-esteem has a situation-root. Many remember "where it all began" in detail. They remember smells, sounds, what they were wearing. The subconscious mind remembers and stores everything it thinks is important. A blow to self-esteem, you must agree, is a significant event.

It is always worth going from the root. It's important to accept and work through the situation. You have grown up, you understand a lot, you know a lot. You can, albeit belatedly, give yourself a happy childhood. It's never too late!

6. Self-esteem is something that is important and must be worked on. It's real to correct, strengthen and improve it.

I should point out right away that everything is individual. Sometimes you need the help of a specialist, when there is an understanding that nothing works and any event can knock you out of balance for a long time.

So what can help if you decide to strengthen your self-esteem on your own?

1. Each of us has areas where we are strong. Develop them. Improve your professionalism.

2. Learn to accept the good things that are said about you. Slowly overcome your inner resistance, modesty, awkwardness. Accustom yourself to the idea that yes, "I am worthy of these words.

3. Reduce the "degree of self-criticism" in relation to yourself. Everyone has talents. Each of us is imperfect. Think about what might help you accept yourself?

4. Read literature that inspires you, encourages you and helps you see new possibilities and horizons.

5. Take a closer look at your surroundings. It's possible that someone is constantly trying to "belittle" your self-esteem.


Anna Matyagina

psycotherapist, certified coach ICI, MRI, AC; specialize in Jungian sand therapy, metaphorical maps, PhD in Engineering

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