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How do you rest?

What kind of silly question is that? Of course we all know how to relax! But it's not that simple.

Firstly, think about whether you have anxiety when you're resting and what it's related to. Have you tried to track your thoughts at that moment? For example, "I still have a lot to do, I can't relax right now… Others are working more than I am, and they are more tired than I am… I don't work hard enough, it's not my time to rest… What the hell is rest?! Life is passing me by, I don't want to waste time!" These are just some of the options that may be running through your head while you're trying to relax.

If that's the case, it's not about rest, it's about not allowing yourself to rest.

In that case, it is worth dealing specifically with the reason for the prohibition and learning to rest as a child learns to walk: in small steps.

Secondly, do you know your resources, that is, what restores your strength? To work so hard that you fall into a dead man's pose in front of the TV with soap operas is not about rest, but about the survival of your body. It's a story about not having the energy for anything else.

Rest is not about not letting yourself die, but about letting yourself to enjoy and be energized, and that is also a kind of work that takes strength.

Do you know where your pleasure lives? What makes you want to smile after? At what moments do you feel a rush of energy and a desire to move and live on? When are you interested? There are no uniform recommendations here. The main point is that after such sessions you "feel alive" and full of energy.

What could it be?

Meeting interesting people who inspire you. Taking walks in interesting places. Visiting wellness centers and SPAs. Short trips and longer trips. Sports activities. The list can be long, the important thing is that it should be your list.

Separately, I want to emphasize that if you have a sedentary job, exercise is vital in any way. Anything, even a little bit, but daily, and this is also not about rest, but about the survival of your body.

One more important nuance! Until the moment of happiness - "vacation once a year", it is important to give yourself short breaks. They will allow you to use a longer period of rest with greater benefit.

Now one more interesting point that I can not avoid mentioning, speaking of vacation.

Recently, the topic of "women's rest" has become fashionable. In other words, how to rest a woman to stop feeling like a working horse? The average woman works at the job, and then works at home, and if she has children, the work does not stop even on weekends and holidays.

Here we have to go back to the question, how much does the woman allow herself to rest? To what extent is she willing to delegate her responsibilities to someone else, of course, if she is able to do so. 

In other words, the question about women's rest is again rooted in the inner permission to "stop being the working horse that wants to die so that it all finally stops”

Women's recreation can be anything, even those that are considered purely masculine, such as fishing, if it is for pleasure. There are women who are into mountain skiing, mountain climbing, surfing, soccer and boxing.

There are no restrictions and rules in recreation except one: you know how to do it, and enjoy it!


Anna Matyagina

psycotherapist, certified coach ICI, MRI, AC; specialize in Jungian sand therapy, metaphorical maps, PhD in Engineering

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