Have any of you ever wondered why you make the decisions you do? What drives you? Why do you continue to be torn between a bunch of circles, home, work and not asking for help when you are on your last breath? Why do you continue to pretend that all is well in a relationship when it hasn't been that way for a long time? Why do you heroically break, modernize and improve yourself for the sake of a person who doesn't notice it? And thousands more of the same why... What drives us all?
Destructive beliefs.
They are born in childhood, adolescence, and some appear in adulthood after a series of failures. Over the years, they are polished and perfected. They capture and master more and more new areas of our lives.
Let's get acquainted with the most common ones.
You undoubtedly have met them, if not with yourself, then certainly with friends, acquaintances, colleagues and relatives.
1. I have to be good for everyone.
I have to be able to do everything. Children. Home. School. Kindergarten. Work. Everything must be done. Lessons. Cleaning. Eating. Mugs. Animals.
There, you can't do it anymore. You're out of strength. Health, too, but you have to be good for everything, so I can't, I don't want to. No longer running, not going, but crawling in the direction of the ideal.
2. Love must be earned.
As children, we seek the approval of adults significant to us. Someone tries to do well in school. Some of us prove ourselves in other areas. Some by behavior. Some of us get help.
Gradually we develop a strong conviction that we can't be loved for nothing. By ourselves, we are nothing. We have to try. Become better. Only then will we be appreciated and loved.
3. Happiness and success have to be endured.
Think of a movie where the main character didn't suffer, didn't suffer, and immediately got everything. Don't you remember? That's right, there would have been nothing to make a movie about. Here we are, in the best traditions of cinematography, looking for the darkest and most twisted paths to their happiness or success.
How can we do without suffering? We don't even think about the fact that we don't have to "wade through thorny bushes," especially when there's a path nearby. We believe so much in the "magic power of suffering" that sometimes we simply don't see the way.
4. A decent woman should get married and have a child.
Hands up who's parents haven't "shaken their souls," "drank their brains out with straws," or "hinted" that it's time for them to get married and have children. Why? Because a woman MUST get married and have children. Because a priori ALL women want that.
The poor woman gets caught up and gets trapped. Many get married that way, "WHY they SHOULD". How does their family life turn out afterwards? I think you can imagine it for yourself.
5. A woman should be concerned with her family and children, not her career.
Yes, this version of reality is still popular in our modern society. A successful woman automatically falls into the rutting and neglectful mother.
If you sit at home and take care of the kids, and you don't have enough money, go to work. Go to work, make good money: "What kind of mother are you, you abandoned your children?
6. A good, decent, honest person will not loudly proclaim their success.
Longevity conviction. Everyone should be like one. One should not stand out. The individual is an integral part of the workforce. To be an individual is to go against the masses of the people.
7. Money can only be earned by hard work.
Hard work is often a great excuse for not changing anything in your life. Why? Because it is scary. What if I fail? What if I fail? Others make money because they are lucky.
The world has changed a lot these days. More and more people go "freelancing" because at some point they realize that they can earn the same or even more money working for themselves, building their own schedule. So yes, work is definitely necessary, but it doesn't have to be unbearable.
8. A woman has to bring up a man in marriage. He is bound to change.
I always want to ask, are we talking about a man now? Maybe a child or a dog?
By the time you get into a relationship, you are both more or less mature individuals. Think "on the shore" about how the responsibilities in the family will be divided. What are you ready for? What is not acceptable? Do you understand what that will look like in reality?
