The brutal disappointment in yourself and your life, the feeling of emptiness and powerlessness pulsates in millions of even very pretty heads every day. Not being able to realize what you feel and think is most important, what you are here for, is an agonizing ordeal.
- Because you can't find a man with whom everything would work out mutually;
- Because someone is only ready for a relationship as long as it is convenient;
- Because even getting married doesn't give the slightest guarantee that this won't change at any moment;
- Because I want kids and there are none. Because I'm supposed to want kids and I don't;
- Because no matter how hard you try, you can't tiptoe through life;
- Because every next attempt robs me of trust and openness, leaving ugly scars inside.
Some kind of cruel taunt! The very thing without which I can't be me - I'm not in control.... The very thing I can't do without with all my will - I'm not in complete control, dependent on a mass of poorly controlled factors and other people.
At this point, our inner demons happily unite with the social context. To society, we are women who are still “NOT”, a little “under-...”.
Sympathetic and curious faces:
- How's your personal life? Why so? Don't drag it out!
- It's okay, it'll work out, it happens...
- Wait, some people still meet someone after 50.
- Maybe you should have a baby with someone. The clock is ticking.
- You must be very picky. Lower the bar a little bit.
The already overflowing cauldron of feelings of inferiority is overflowing with generous portions from well-wishers.
By force of will and despair we make wild experiments on ourselves, trying to squeeze into the procrustean bed - to become those women who are supposedly “quoted”. Do you know where the upper limit of desperation is? A smart and beautiful woman, with talents, money, interesting work and wonderful mental qualities is just as lonely contrary to expectations.
This is normal and abnormal at the same time. It's normal in the sense that without a relationship, a woman doesn't feel human. It's not normal because it's deceptive and artificially narrows the spectrum of how we can bring out the gift we are in our lives.
Is attitude a major part of a woman's calling? But let's get to the heart of the matter. The most beautiful and accurate definition of vocation that I know of is found in the Vedas.
Vocation is an integral part of the soul
“Indispensable” - that is, one that cannot be taken away, one that CANNOT be unrealized! “Indispensable” in the sense that it will happen to us anyway. Sometimes to the point of ridiculousness: whether we want it to or not, when it should be, the way it should be. That's the inherent nature of vocation.
It is a tremendous energy that is born with us the moment we are born, the moment we choose our path. The moment we said - “Yes, I want this,” there is a powerful charge of energy that we come here with. Everything that is good for the chosen path is already in your destiny - it will work out anyway. Anything that leads away is not allowed to work out. We are simply being protected from those roads that lead the wrong way.
To free ourselves from pain, we need to take two more steps:
- Letting go of control of the issue and trusting the flow of life;
- Accept that everything that is happening in my life is actually good and for my good.
Every meeting, every breakup, every experience are the best milestones on my path, without them I just can't arrive at the main thing. Any of my current situations: loneliness, the “wrong” relationship, the pain of parting is a generous gift. It's extremely hard to believe, but everything that happens in your life is right.
This is a part from the book Unmarried Childless Happy by Yulia Kassich
